Romeo Funny, a short story by JJ. Date added: 2009-10-25. Times viewed: 1397.

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Romeo Funny

Knew a guy once called Romeo Funny,
always getting it wrong.
Who else could go up to a girl and say
‘Do we come here often?'
or make remarks about their libido,
what he had against women was beyond me.

His condescending snide little ways
would always get us into trouble
with the liberated fraternity.
‘Do you go like a bunny?'
‘Have you seen the Dr about your perverse sexual habits?'
they'd reply.

Or there was his favourite line,
‘I love you and I don't even know your name'
Laugh?
I nearly choked on my packet of salted peanuts
when he looked in her eyes and smouldered
‘Here's looking at you kid!'

Then there were the boyfriends,
old Romeo certainly had the knack
for chatting up girlfriends of all-in wrestlers.
Many a night I lay mangled,
wishing he was dead.

He dressed like a gangster
from one of those old time movies
and talked with a deliberate twitch
(maybe there was something in that bunny story after all).
He'd tip his hat and check his trench coat collar
and swagger.

I was a modern man,
I respected women as equals not playthings,
I'd be polite and chat,
listen to what they were saying
which always seemed to be
‘Get lost Jack'.

I hated his manner,
his kiss and tell graphic details,
his comments on women's breasts.
What really irked me though was,
how come,
he always got the girl?

 

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