The speed date, a short story by Lee. Date added: 2009-02-15. Times viewed: 911.
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- Intro: Speed dating. What a nightmare. Or is it?
- "OK ladies and gentlemen. Welcome to Sassy Sid's speed dating. You have two minutes to impress. If there is anyone you like write their number down on your note-card and it might be your lucky night! So are you ready?"
The short simple answer to that is "No!" I can't believe I'm here. The only reason I am is because my best friend Sasha is getting over a messy break up and she is currently at the stage where she wants to do something wild and meet someone new, even just for one night to get her mind off of the man that was. This wild idea of hers had to of course include me. Earlier this evening we were getting ready at my flat, drinking cosmopolitans for Dutch courage and singing along to Aretha Franklin's R.E.S.P.E.C.T. I had already changed outfits three times and my stomach felt quite unsettled. The thought of what lay ahead made me feel sick. Sasha shimmied her way over to me with a huge smile on her face and singing at the top of her voice "r.e.s.p.e.c.t find out what it means to me..." and her sequinned black mini dress sparkled as she moved. She threw her arms around me saying "Don't worry, tonight will be a great laugh!" At who's expense I thought to myself as I hugged her back.
We collected our note cards from the middle aged lady with blue eye-shadow and bright red lipstick and made our way to our seats. Sasha shot me a quick smile as she sat down next to me. "OK, here we go!" announced the middle aged man with greased back wispy black hair and a tuxedo that was clearly about ten years old and two sizes to small. I took a deep breath and awaited my fate.
First up Roger. A 45 year old second hand car sales man from Kent. No children, divorced and lives in a mobile home because his wife took everything including the house when she left him for the window cleaner 15 years her junior. He had too much after shave on, dirt around his pink shirt collar and a beer belly that looked as if he was carrying twins. Next!
Nigel. 39. A window cleaner from Feltham. Is a stripper on weekends and doesn't usually have much time for socialising. Would I like a private show?... Next!
Simon. A 20 something estate agent who to me should still be in nursery and who could not take his eyes away from my chest. He drove an Audi TT, wore Ben Sherman from head to toe and asked told me that he liked my top but it would look better on his bedroom floor! Oh please God, kill me now! The buzzer went and the child moved onto the next poor unsuspecting female.
I gave Sasha a "you owe me big time" look and she giggled. clearly finding this whole situation a right hoot. I sighed thinking I was not sure how much more I could take. I almost gave up and thought about going to the bar next door until Sasha had had her fill when the most delicious smelling after shave wafted up my nostrils. I was instantly brought out of my day dream to find an extremely handsome man sitting down in front of me. "Hi. I'm Steve" he reached his hand out towards me and I shook it nervously, trying not to drool at the same time. His hand shake was firm but warm. He wore a dark denim pair of jeans loose but not half way down his backside, a black shirt with the top two buttons open and he had the most gorgeous smile I had ever seen. I was mesmerised by his beautiful big brown eyes and long eyelashes. His skin was golden brown and he had a neatly trimmed beard. Things could be looking up. Has this nightmare evening got a silver lining?
He was 34, a successful self employed business man, owned his own house and not divorced. So far so good, he had my full attention. He never dreamed that he would be in a place like this and his friend owed him big time for dragging him here. I smiled and informed him I understood completely. Looking over at Sasha who was talking to slimy man Roger, she glanced over at me and her mouth dropped wide open, looking from me to Steve and back again. I had to suppress a laugh.
Steve asked me about myself. Feeling like a giddy teenager with butterflies in my stomach I finally got my act together and told him that I was 31, a primary school teacher, lived with my friend Sasha who as it turned out also owed me big time. I was about to ask where he lived when the announcer told everyone that time was up. Steve shook my hand again and said it was nice meeting me. I watched him as he walked away towards the men's toilets. Sasha was instantly by my side.
"What a nightmare she babbled, I have never met such a bunch of losers. It makes my David look like a saint and the best man on this planet. Oh and who the hell was that hotty?". I grabbed my bag, sighing happily and we walked over to the table that listed the guys names and their speed date number. "Oh no!" I didn't take note of his number, and his name doesn't seem to be on the list. Sasha and I checked the lists over and over and she being the gutsy lady that she is went into the men's toilets to see if he was still there. No luck. I was gutted. Just when I thought the night might not have been a complete waste of time I lose the one guy that I would definitely have met with again.
The lady with the blue eye shadow came over to us. "Hello ladies." She smiled showing us that she was missing at least 4 front teeth. " I hope you had a good evening and will be back again?". Sasha and I looked at each other. "Yes. thank you" we replied through gritted teeth, and briskly made our way out of the front door.
The next day was Sunday and I went for a stroll to our local coffee shop to relax with a latte and the Sunday paper. I decided to sit outside as the sun was shining and seeing that this was a rare delight I had to enjoy it while I could. Sasha was back at the flat on the phone to her ex. She had her eyes opened after last night and had decided to give him a second chance. She thought that if those men were the last singles on this planet then her ex was worth another go.
Suddenly a shadow blocked my sunlight. Frowning I looked up from my paper to see what it was. I almost choked on the piece of carrot cake in my mouth. Steve was standing in front of me. He patted my back and I got up out of my seat embarrassed. "You left before I could get your number" he smiled. I was just driving past as my friend lives around the corner and saw you sitting here. "Another coffee?" he offered. I nodded and I lead the way into the coffee shop. Later as we talked and laughed over our third latte I decided that speed dating wasn't so bad after all.
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