If I Matter, The Final Letter, a short story by katnnyne. Date added: 2012-08-28. Times viewed: 763.

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Intro: The End

I dress carefully the morning of the trial. I walk slowly into the courtroom. I see you. You’re still beautiful.

They didn’t take you away.

I want to run and hug you. I can’t.

But I listen. I listen to the classmates of mine talk about you. I listen to my parents. I listen to my psychiatrist.

They all love you, too.

But then come the police. They read parts of my letters. They make me sound crazy. Obsessed. I guess I am, though.

Even still, I watch you the whole time. You look nervous.

I get called to the stand. I tell them my story. Our story. Some people cry.

You don’t watch me. You’re crying with your head down.

I’d never seen you cry. It’s heartbreaking.

I get down. I think I won them over. They don’t think I’m delusional. They saw our love.

And then you’re called up. The last one.

You open your mouth to speak.

“I’m very sorry about what I did. I should never have taken advantage of such a young girl. It was wrong and I’m…I’m a criminal. I did brainwash her. I did hurt her. I did abuse her. Not in the ways you all think, but I did.

“I’m sorry. I regret every second of it. But she was so special, so amazing. So perfect. I didn’t mean for this to happen. I loved her.”

The lawyer says, “You turned yourself in. Why?”

There are a lot of gasps. Not from me. I’d already figured that out. My parents are bawling.

“Because I don’t deserve her. I’m a monster. I ruined her life.”

And I realize how much I love you. I stand up. “You didn’t ruin my life,” I try to say. But I can’t.

I can’t.

You’re still talking. You’re telling them about how you watched my body. You’re turning yourself into a monster. Talking about how you convinced me to do private lessons with you. Talking about how you kissed me and let me fall in love with you. How I was a foolish, silly girl who you took advantage of. How I was beautiful and alluring and your ‘prey’. You tell them what the media wants to hear. What the police want to hear. Maybe what my parents want to hear. What you think I need to hear. But it doesn’t make me get over you. It doesn’t even hurt me. It makes me numb. Because I know what is coming.

You finish. I don’t know if you had lied or not. It doesn’t matter.

They take you away from me.

Forever.

I love you. I love you I love you I love youiloveyouiloveyou. I. Love. You.

Why did you let this happen? I thought you loved me too.

Lola

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