Bodgiegum, a short story by anomalousanonymous. Date added: 2008-10-21. Times viewed: 880.
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- Intro: A man walks into a curious looking shop, selling many different things he sees one he most likes the look of, Bodgiegum: DO NOT SWALLOW
- Walking down the street (as you do sometimes when not running or standing in the street) I happened to cross by a curious looking shop; "Curiosity Shop" said the sign and, not knowing whether they were buying or selling (curiosity, that is) I decided to wonder in.
Well, they sold all sorts of fantasticals and curiosities and my eyes happened across a curious looking box,
"Feel like an animal!"
Said the scribble on the box.
"Fantastic buy for only five pounds" said a voice over my shoulder.
"What is it exactly?"
"Makes you feel like the animal you most desire to be, lasts a few hours; no side effects, I've heard."
A gimmick no doubt, I thought to myself, but the curiosity I had brought in with me had apparently not yet ran out, so I bought the product and parted with my five pounds.
"Careful with it sir; its banned in 48 states, that stuff is"
"We're not in the USA y'know" said I.
"Nooo, I mean happiness, loneliness, sadness, states of mind y'see.....erm... what state are you in then?"
"Well, I am feeling a little curious"
"Oh curious is fine! Curious goes with anything these days; but just to be sure, you had better have the Bodgiegum here to start, in case of ill effect"
"Good idea!" I exclaimed, and with that I swallowed the brown squidgy lump whole.
"Aaaaaah!" Cried out the shopkeeper.
"You're only supposed to chew it!"
"Chew it? I saw no instructions on the box saying chew it!"
"Yes, but did you not see the large, STARK warning saying DO NOT SWALLOW?"
"Ah, yes I remember seeing that now, but I saw it when I had no intention of buying it, so I forgot it"
"You'd better get home and get home quick, for first'll come the sweating and then I'll come the sick, then you'll notice some curious changes, as all your body BODGIEGUM rearranges!"
"What do you mean?"
"You'll turn into the animal you least desire to be; and that's not just for a few hours, that's permanently!"
"That's terrible. Did you know that what you just said rhymed? Were you reading that off the box?"
"Get home!" The shopkeeper screamed.
With that I left, racing; not cars, but the time I had left to get back home: In reaching home I went straight to bed and locked myself in my room. The sweating and sickness were certainly upon me; I was asleep before not too long. I awoke in the morning and looked in the mirror reluctantly. It was then however, that I concluded I had been sold a novelty item: I was rather shocked to find myself still a human being!
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